A reoccurring thought I’ve been having lately is the uncertainty of my future and life in general. When you’re in your twenties, nothing’s really set in stone. Things are constantly changing, and along with that, our minds are constantly evolving. We may feel one thing one day, and the next we’re feeling something polar opposite. It’s a trying time, and because of this, it’s the most challenging and confusing years of our lives. The pressure to have your life figured out from external sources is AS heavy as the internal fears you possess. Because I’m going through it just as much (if not, more) than most of you, I don’t have some great piece of advice that’ll make your thoughts vanish overnight. I’m simply conveying my feelings about how vast and unknown the future can be. If anything, you can at least feel comfort in knowing you’re not alone, because the idea of what's to come can be terrifying at times.
“Where do you think you’ll be in 5 or 10 years?” Over time, this question has began to make me feel more and more uncomfortable. It’s important to have goals. VERY important, and I’m not discrediting that. It’s unfair, however, to hold yourself accountable to a perfect life by a certain age. It gives us expectations which, if we don’t fulfill, we end up resenting ourselves for not achieving them by the due date we've given them. It’s inevitable to have a timeline for yourself I suppose. I just don’t think it’s always realistic with the way life works, and it often leads to disappointment. I’m sure all of us thought we’d be doing “this” or “that” by the age we’re at now. Some of you might have accomplished it, but a majority of us haven’t. Some simply take more time than others, while the rest have curve balls thrown at them that they never took into account when they were mapping out their timeline. And you know what? That’s life. It’s an unpredictable roller coaster, and although we may not be where we thought we would by this age, I’m sure a lot of us have achieved or experienced things we never expected ourselves to have by this age either. So give yourself a little credit.
I recently watched a movie called Veere Di Wedding. The movie is about a group of friends who are each at a different stage in their life. One of the girls is about to get married. Her whole life, she resented the idea of getting married because her parents didn’t have a good marriage. She never thought she’d be planning her wedding and struggles with the concept of married life. Another girl is dating, but having trouble finding the “one.” She always thought she’d get married before her friends because she adores the institution of marriage and is a hopeless romantic. The third is dealing with a divorce (one of course, she never thought she’d be getting). She had assumed she married the love of her life. The fourth is happily married to a guy her parents never accepted. Do you see a reoccurring pattern? Life never goes according to plan. This movie beautifully illustrated that. Even though each woman is at a different stage in her life, there was still so much uncertainty and just as much confusion with each story. They don’t know how things will or even would work out. But that's something about life we all have to embrace. Uncertainty. We never really know what’s going to happen so we might as well accept it.
The “what-ifs” are the questions that really get to me. I know I’m supposed to trust that everything will work out the way it’s meant to be, but I find having this mindset all the time is extremely challenging. When there are so many uncertainties, how does anyone know, with full confidence, life will just work out? I guess none of us really know. We all just want to believe that everything that we’re going through and dealing with has a happy ending. That it’s all worth it in the end. We take solace in these words so that we’re able to keep pushing ourselves forward.
I’ve seen it first hand that life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. Shit happens. Be prepared and accept that it's not going to go smoothly all the time. You’re not the only one who’s confused about life, and you won’t be the last. Life will turn out the way it’s supposed to turn out, whether it’s what you wanted or not. Just because it’s not something you initially planned for, doesn’t mean it’s not something you won’t find worth living for.
-love Sof
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