1 word. 6 letters. No one ever wants to hear this word. The implication of it will change your life forever. Whether it’s you, or affecting someone close to you, cancer is an ugly word. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. As I reflect back to this difficult time in my grandmother’s life, I’m overwhelmed with admiration and respect for her. The way she handled this time in her life, from the first diagnosis to the last chemotherapy treatment, it’s inspiration and motivation to do better and be better. Most importantly, I’ve learned that you should never take this beautiful gift of life for granted.
The end of 2015 and much of 2016 is a blur. I remember being next to my mom’s side when she got the phone call. Her entire body froze, her phone dropped, and she broke down. Crying hysterically she uttered the words, “she has cancer.” I knew in that moment, I had to be strong for my mom. I tried to hold myself together, while simultaneously trying to calm her down. I held her as her eyes flooded with tears. Stage III, Ovarian. You never think it’ll happen to your family, until it actually happens to your family. Nothing can really prepare you for the magnitude of emotions you’ll feel throughout this journey. My grandma is like the glue that holds our family together. She’s the strongest person in the world, let alone in our family. The biggest advice I can give you, if you know someone who does have cancer, is to treat him or her as normally as possible. My grandmother has been independent her whole life. Her husband passed away from Leukemia when my mom was only 10 years old, and she raised four kids as a single mom. She worked various jobs trying to support her family as best as she could. She hates depending on people, and while she was sick, it was really hard for her to accept help from anyone, even her own children. The other piece of advice I can offer is more of a disclaimer. The cancer is bad, but the chemotherapy is what really drains the patient. It’s a strenuous process to go through and the patient can lose a lot of their self-confidence/esteem. They can also experience major depression during their treatment. It’s best to be extremely careful and extremely patient with them. It’s been two years, and Alhamdulillah, my grandmother is cancer free today.
The biggest lesson I learned during this time is that life is short. Don’t take it for granted. My generation has a bad habit of joking about things like dying or wanting to die. Next time you feel like this, please try and remind yourself of the thousands and thousands of cancer patients out there fighting for their life right now. They don’t have a choice but to fight. Try not to joke about your life, because for them, life isn’t a joke.
If anyone is experiencing a similar situation right now, my heart goes out for you, and I pray this time gets better for you and your family. Never lose hope, stay strong and have faith.
-love Sof
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