I know I’ve talked about anxiety on my blog before, but I just wanted to do a quick update about how my anxiety has affected me (specifically) throughout this year. 2018 was a challenging year, and it took a toll on my mental health. It’s been a work in progress, but aA it’s gotten progressively better.
I went through a period of time this year where I couldn’t sleep. My anxiety had gotten to an all time high, and my mind was wired consistently for about two months. Insomnia at it’s finest. I would play meditation sleep videos to help calm my nerves. To be honest- they didn’t work. I started going to sleep whenever my eyelids were heavy to the point where I couldn’t think anymore. Of course, my sleeping schedule took a beating because of it, and eventually the lack of sleep caught up with me. I cut down on the caffeine and increased my workouts- trying to get myself as tired as I possibly could.
My panic attacks have definitely decreased. I still go through the same motions and thoughts when they do occur, but they don’t occur as often. I’m not entirely sure why they decreased. For sure, they don’t occur as randomly as they used to. I think I’ve started to get better control over my thoughts and emotions, but it definitely wasn’t a walk in the park to get to this point.
Am I still constantly worrying 24/7? Absolutely. Am I getting better at controlling the thought before it full on spirals out of control? I definitely think so. There are good and bad days. Working out on a regular basis and talking to my best friends about the things on my mind more often have worked wonders.
To get a better picture of my anxiety, I’d have to delve into deeper things, so for now I’ll keep it at this. Sometimes anxiety hits up your line when it’s bored, and sometimes it hits up your line for a reason. Either way, I’ve always felt like I had no choice but to answer. However, lately I’ve realized I really don’t have to answer. I can miss a call here and there and it'll still be okay.
-love Sof
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