I always find myself hesitant to write about my feelings and distinct opinions on anything controversial. I’m not afraid of backlash about my opinions, but more so judgement that I’m not depicting something as correctly as I could be. I’ve gotten this sort of criticism in the past, and although helpful, it did make me take a step back on the amount of passion I’m putting into my pieces. I found myself filtering my feelings. When it comes to religion, I don’t claim to be an expert whatsoever. If anything- it’s the opposite. I still have a long way to go, and much to learn. That being said, I want to keep up with my tradition of depicting my inner monologue each year during this divine and spiritual month.
I sincerely love Ramadan. There’s some sort of elixir in the air that makes this month feel distinctive from the other eleven months. You find the motivation to want to do better, not just for yourself, but for Allah SWT. When you slack during this month, you feel the weight of your actions 1000 times more. That being said, the purpose of Ramadan is to let go of all objects of desire and ego, to remind yourself of the blessings Allah SWT has given you, and to essentially get closer to your faith as this is the one thing we have complete and total control over.
As I shared in an IG post (@sofstateofmind), this year, I once again found myself slacking in my Deen. It’s hard to admit to yourself how distracted you are by worldly things. Between Omar Suleiman’s series this year on the Day of the Judgement and the book, Secrets of Divine Love, I’ve become hypervigilant about the impact each action I take has- the good and the bad. We keep living for the fleeting moments of this life, when the afterlife is what we need to be striving for. We’re human. It’s natural for us to have worldly desires, but we must contain how much feed the ego, and turn more towards how much we’re feeding our soul.
Something that was always implied to me growing up, but never taught was how to love Allah SWT and why. The book really illustrates the importance of how majestic, gracious and merciful He is. You shouldn’t just be grateful to God for what He’s given you, but also what He hasn’t given you. For His mercy. For the very fact that He chose to breathe life into you. The beauty of this world. The intricacies of this life. Our human experience. Allah SWT loves us and has loved us even before we existed. All He asks for in return is our faith, worship and love. Not because He needs it, but because WE do.
I am grateful for this profound understanding Allah SWT brought me to this year. I could make another blog post diving deep into what exactly Secrets of Divine Love has taught me and how I’ve implemented the concepts into my life. If you didn’t feel the spirit of Ramadan as you usually do, you’re not the only one. However, instead of comparing ourselves to everyone and feeling disappointed, we have try and motivate ourselves to do better. Not just for ourselves, but for Him. You wont do it until you yourself open your heart and mind. Once you realize the love you have for your Lord, the closer you are to doing everything in His 99 names. I pray that anyone who took the time out to read this, has a blessed last couple of days of Ramadan. I know this was a brief post, but my intention was to lightly touch on what I’ve learned this month. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, mental illness or just feel alone, I’m praying for you. You aren’t alone. And you aren’t exempt from His love because of it.
love, Sof
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