Hi :) Long time no chat. I’ve been seriously struggling with balancing a corporate job, physical/mental health and keeping my blog alive. However, I’m back with something that’s been weighing heavy on my mind… no surprise there. I’ve got a case of wedding brain. No, I’m not getting married any time soon, but I can’t stop obsessing over getting married or how I want my wedding to look like one day. This is probably due to the fact that everybody on Instagram and Tik Tok has caught the wedding bug and are getting hitched. I’m here for it... I’ve always adored weddings and all the magic attached to that special time.
However, lately, I’ve noticed a huge stigma with wanting to get married this day in age. I don’t think it’s exactly stopping anybody from tying the knot- but more and more I’ve noticed the shift in perspective when a woman expresses she wants to get married. “Why?” “Focus on your career” “Why would you want to settle down so early?” “You have your whole life to get married” To provide some context, I’ll be 25 next month and I get these comments constantly. Like I said, this isn’t stopping the influx of weddings these days- but I can’t help to wonder why women can’t openly desire or crave a particular lifestyle to their heart’s content Why is there so much judgement surrounded by a woman’s mindset? I swear I never see that kind of judgement when men decide to get married. They can get married in their 20’s or their 40’s, and no one would bat an eyelash.
What I find most interesting about this is the fact that the generation before us had a polar opposite mindset. Women prioritizing careers was frowned upon, and marriage was encouraged at as young of an age as possible. I understand why the mindset has shifted- don’t get me wrong. Society has finally given women the choice to be independent especially without the help of a man.
Career vs. Marriage.
Why does it have to be one or the other? We judge women for solely desiring a career. We judge women for solely desiring a marriage. Yes, I understand we all have our own opinions and ideas for our own lives- but I’m sick and tired of getting judgement left and right for any perspective I may or may not have. I’m frustrated with others forcing their opinions of the lifestyles they want to execute onto others. There are women who prefer to be incredible homemakers and are perfectly content... There are women who prefer to be BOSS bitches and make money moves that are perfectly content. There are women who want or have BOTH that are perfectly content. It’s 2021. Women can do it all and have it all- all on their own.
Let’s just say- you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. We’re all guilty of being judgmental at times. If a woman gets married before they’ve graduated- we judge. If they get married in their 30’s and beyond- we judge. If a woman wants to get married- we judge. If a woman doesn’t want to get married- we judge. It doesn’t stop there- it trickles into our careers, having kids, the way our body looks, the way we dress etc. When are we finally going to snap ourselves out of this mindset and simply mind our own business?
Just because I’m looking forward to the day I get married, and the concept of marriage excites me- doesn’t mean I’m not equally excited for the potential heights my career can take me. Doesn’t mean making money isn’t constantly on my mind. Doesn’t mean my passions don’t align with feeling free and independent. I want both- and I will continue to strive for both. Your life is yours to live- not anyone else’s. Don’t let anyone’s cloud of judgement become turbulence on your flight of life.
love, Sof
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