I don't understand why Religion always has to be a competition. Why does one feel that because they are more religious, they are ultimately superior than others? This is something I've witnessed my whole life, and maybe I too, can be guilty of this at times. I've never showed anyone the extent to how religious I am. I feel like that is my personal relationship with God, and no one else really needs to know. So of course, when I don't show it, people automatically assume I'm not. When it comes to religion, I'm unbothered by what others think of me (one of the very few subjects I don't care to know other's opinions on). In honor of Ramadan, however, I want to touch on the subject a little bit. More specifically, I want to talk about how and when I felt myself getting closer with God. It happened after I made a very special trip to Makkah and Medina. I don't know everything about my religion, and so I'm not going to claim I'm an expert of any sort. I'm also not going to go into too much detail on what exactly Umrah is. In short, it's a religious journey/pilgrimage to our holy city, Makkah.
Medina is another popular destination people visit whenever they go to Makkah, and has immense religious value. Medina's beauty is breathtaking, and the serenity one finds there is ethereal. We stopped in Medina first, and while I was there, I felt as if every problem of mine had slowly disintegrated. You feel the calm the second you get off the plane. When I first laid eyes on the mosque, Al-Masjid an-Nabawi, I was mesmerized. The beauty in the architecture, the beauty of the people, the beauty of the sound of the adhan pulsating throughout the city. All day, we would pray and read Quran in the mosque. Time would just fly by between prayers. Immersing yourself in your religion with tears naturally flowing, there's nothing quite like it. That is why Medina will always have a special place in my heart, and iA I hope to go back one day.
And then of course, came time to go to Makkah. I didn't have many expectations, and to be quite honest, I wasn't sure if I was excited. I knew it was a big deal to go to Makkah and Medina but I don't think I understood at that point why. (Side note: I was about 19 years old). The first glimpse I got of the Masjid Al Haram was from my hotel room. We had a decent view of the mosque and I remember just being in awe. As we strolled towards Masjid Al Haram, I looked around me. There were thousands and thousands of people. All with different backgrounds, but of course we all had one thing in common- our religion. You know that feeling you get when you're chilling comfortably in your house? That's how I felt here, at home. Comfortable. Somewhere I know I didn't want to leave, and I hadn't even set foot in the mosque yet. I don't think anyone could've prepared me for the moment my eyes touched the Kaaba. I saw my parents getting really emotional, and suddenly I was tearing up. This was the moment I felt closest to God. We performed Umrah twice. On the second time, my parents, sister and I were trying to pray directly in front of the Kaaba. It was really crowded, but one of the kind security guards protected us (without us asking to) and let us pray together as a family. Like magic, the four of us somehow had enough space around us to pray. It was as if a bubble had formed, but only around us.
From the second I left, I've always had an intense feeling of wanting to go back. There's some sort of magic in the air of both Medina and Makkah. It gave me a newfound respect for my religion. It showed me that I don't want to be apart from my religion. It's part of my identity. It's something that I hope everybody gets a chance of witnessing one day. And I hope one day, I'm able to go back too iA.
-love Sof
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