When I wrote to my younger self a few months ago, I realized how much I had grown in general and as an individual over the years. It was therapeutic and I started thinking maybe receiving a letter from myself in a year or two might be just as relieving to read. That whatever my future self is going through, she’ll realize what she had grown from a year ago. I don’t know what this next month or even year has in store for me. I just want to compare the state of mind I’m in now to how it’ll be in a year from now. This won’t make a lot of sense to most of you, so this one’s really for me…
Dear (FUTURE) Me,
CONGRATS. You made it to this point. You didn’t think you’d ever see this day and look at you. You’re here. You’re alive and breathing. I’m so proud of you for pushing through. I’m so happy you decided to keep going. I know it took almost everything in you. You had every excuse in the book to give up, but you didn’t. You made it.
2018 really did a number on you. I hope the pain 2018 brought has slowly subsided. I hope everything you were feeling towards the end of the year is nothing but a scar now. Hopefully you’ve found some sort of peace of mind. I hope your thoughts have settled down as opposed to racing 24/7. Maybe you’ve found some permanent answers to things that were once up in the air. Hopefully the confusion has subdued regarding several aspects in your life. If it hasn’t completely, that’s okay too. I know if anything, you have a better idea and grasp of what you want your life to look like because you had definitely started making progress a year ago.
2018 taught you to depend on NOBODY but yourself. You learned to demand what you deserve and to always respect yourself first and foremost. I hope you’re still treating yourself with the utmost love and respect and allowing yourself to be as selfish as necessary.
The people around you might have changed slightly. I hope you’re content with your surroundings and that the people you’ve chosen to stick around are ones who uplift you, yet still put you in your place when you need it. I hope these friendships are just as easy as they were a year ago. You’ve always had a strong support system; you just have a hard time remembering it at times.
Keep in mind, everything happens for a reason. Maybe you know some of those reasons by now, and it’s starting to make sense. I’ll tell you one thing… it’s definitely not making sense at the moment.
If you’re currently struggling, just know I believe in you. You’ve gotten this far. I know you can keep going. You owe yourself. The world may seem unfair, but there has to be a silver lining. Wait on it. It'll be worth all the time, trials and tears.
I hope you’re still living for the little things. Coffee/brunch dates with your girls. Scary movies with your cousins. Dancing to Drake with your sister. Shopping with your mom. Watching sports with your dad. Etc.
Keep reading books. Make travel plans ASAP. STAY BLOGGING. Breathe. Remain grateful. And SMILE. You’ve made it this far, now go a little further.
-love Sof
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