Hi,
I don’t know what you’re going through or what you’re dealing with. I do know that you’re doing your best or you’d at least like to do your best to get through it. You’re juggling school, work, family, a social life, religion, your physical health, and most importantly, your mental health. Life is nothing short of overwhelming. Your anxiety is probably at an all time high because you don’t know how you’re going to get through it or even IF you’ll get through it. It may seem impossible, and your depression may be telling you the light at the end of the tunnel is nonexistent.
Your emotions start to get the best of you. Breakdown after breakdown, you’ll feel as if life is unfair and unkind to you. You’ll get angry and that rage will soon turn into tears. You’ll feel sorry for yourself and in some cases you’ll start to feel ungrateful that you’re having these thoughts in the first place. You’ll become angry with yourself all over again and thus begins the cycle.
Often times, we try to block our emotions. We don’t allow ourselves to truly feel the way we do because we’re afraid of what might come with it. The world makes us feel like we’re weak if we show an ounce of emotion. Other times, concealing our feelings will actually work in our favor. For example, when someone insults you, you’ll be upset internally but you won’t cry on the spot or lash out. You’ll push those emotions to the side because that’s what’s necessary to cope and move forward.
There are also times where you don’t want people to worry about you so you downplay the things you’re going through. You act as if your problems aren’t significant enough for anyone to worry about. You have to remember, your issues are your issues. If you’re struggling with something, don’t minimize it. Allow yourself to accept you’re struggling and the degree to which you’re struggling. I’m not saying to dramatize it, but feel the way you feel and do so unapologetically.
Let yourself get angry. Allow yourself to cry. Stop feeling guilty for carrying negative emotions. Wanting other people to validate my feelings is something I’ve always struggled with, and this year I’ve definitely fought to let myself feel the way I do without guilt. Validate your feelings because YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. Instead of shoving your emotions to the back of your mind, allow them to come forward. Lets face it, they’ll come out in some way, some day. Letting yourself deal with it in the present will help you get through and get over things much quicker.
It’s how you handle your mindset going forward (after the negative emotions subside) that really affect you. So feel what you feel, but also seek action to fix how you feel. It's all in your control.
Remember to be gentle with yourself though. Things may be hard now, but they won’t be hard forever. You’re human, of course you’re not always going to feel happy, but that also means you’re not always going to feel sad. It may seem like the end of the world right now, but I promise you’re going to get through this. Things will eventually resolve and fall into place the way they’re meant to. The mental scars you harbor will start to fade. You’ll find the light again, but you also have to make an effort to try and find that light again. I promise it’s there, but you have to keep fighting. Reach out to someone if you need to talk. You are not a burden and your problems won’t become theirs. You’re not any less of a person for feeling the way you do. Self-care requires self-awareness. Allow yourself to not be okay right now, because that’s the only way you’ll be okay again.
-love Sof
P.S. I'm always here to talk, if anyone needs to.
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