Since the sun has started setting earlier, I feel as if collectively we’ve all been going through it. That seasonal depression has really sunk in, and it’s hard to seek the light when the light itself excuses itself halfway through the day. Feeling low often times blocks our view of everything in our life that makes living worthwhile. Gratitude is beautiful in theory, but can be challenging to put into practice. We’re not always reminding ourselves to be grateful- which can make us feel even worse- and so becomes a vicious self-deprecating cycle.
I remember one of my resolutions this year was to practice gratitude daily (which is super ironic considering this year felt the most unfair). I would feel guilty for feeling like this pandemic is such a burden without understanding just how bad people all around the world were being affected. Yes, I’m allowed to be upset for the things I feel like I’m missing out on, but at a certain point, I have to accept reality for what it is. I had to turn those feelings of bitterness into appreciation.
Moreover, I recently got hit with perspective I didn’t see coming. Often times, we take too much for granted. Especially when we’re running around, stressing in our day to day work lives, engulfed with our mental health battles, balancing family, a social life and a love life. Attempting to battle our mental demons whilst also dealing with unpleasantries and unnecessary conflicts with people closest to us can be emotionally exhausting. The pettiness we zone in on has a way of blinding us to everything good we know. Sometimes, the situation really is shit- so we shouldn't feel ashamed for acknowledging that life kinda sucks sometimes. However, you may have a tendency to run with that emotion. I think it’s because it’s much more comforting to feel sorry for ourselves rather than to just deal with the bad stuff. So HOW as human beings, can we make a collective effort to remind ourselves MORE of the blessings that we’re truly spoiled with? And why is it that we usually have to experience a loss for us to remember these things?
A couple of thoughts have helped me maintain gratitude over the past week or two, so I thought I would share. It’s also been helping me mentally deal with the spectrum of emotions I’ve been experiencing- including anxiety, seasonal depression and grief.
The first is the remembrance of Allah SWT. I know I don’t dabble much on religion here, and that’s mainly because I don’t think I’m the most religious person out there, nor am I qualified/knowledgeable enough to speak on it. I can only speak from my own experiences and my own perspective- and it may not be the same as yours. Everyone has their own journey with religion, and there’s something quite beautiful about finding the strength from within to believe in something so much greater than yourself. There’s something that’s always been comforting in knowing that Allah SWT is here to keep us on the right track, as long as we continue to remember Him and pray to Him. When we practice Tawakkul there is a certain peace of mind we’re able to attain. It took me a long time to get to this point in my religious/spiritual journey, but time and time again, God proves to me that He has a certain timing for everything that happens in my life. In turn, that does nothing but increase my trust and love in Him and His plan for me. I don’t need to have control over everything, and if something goes wrong- it's okay. That’s just part of what He has in store for me, and that in itself provides me with all the relief I need. So on my quest to practice gratitude, Islam has played a pivotal role in it.
Another idea I find so admirable about Islam, and something that’s been helping me actively practice gratitude is the fact that it teaches us to resolve things with people we once had conflict with. Before performing Umrah or Hajj, we are encouraged to reach out to people we may have hurt. We aren’t supposed to leave things open ended with the connections we make in life. Life is truly fleeting, and while you have the chance now- you should try and resolve any conflict you may have (within reason of course). Not only will it contribute to your peace of mind, but God will also be pleased with you. Sometimes, we have to be the bigger person and it’s by no means easy. If the last thing you said to somebody, was the last thing they ever heard from you- would you be pleased with yourself? Would God be pleased with you? (This is within reason- every situation is different, but if you feel like a relationship is worth salvaging, go for it). A life that’s worthwhile to me is a life that exudes love and respect. Be mindful of how you conduct your affairs, and anywhere you can, spread love and be kind. You never truly know what people are going through, or when the last time will really be the last time.
I hate the fact that we substantially appreciate people or things more- when they’re no longer in our lives anymore, or when we’ve experienced some other sort of loss. Why can’t we have the same appreciation for that thing or person when it’s present in our life? Due to human nature, it may never be like that. But we could still attempt to appreciate these things astronomically, while we still can. I guess that’s why they always say you should live each day like it’s your last. Stop living in the past. Stop planning for the future. Live right now. Live while you still have the chance to live. The only thing that’s guaranteed in this life is that it’ll all come to an end one day. As morbid as that sounds, hopefully it’ll remind you not to take this life for granted. Everything is temporary.
I get it. It’s tough to think this way. This year has been hard on everyone in so many ways, and like I said earlier, it feels like we’re all collectively going through it. Have faith that these hard times, negative emotions and major losses are all part of a bigger plan. Life has a funny way of teaching us what’s imperative for us to learn and grow. The challenges thrown our way are part of a bigger plan that’ll lead us to where we need to be. In these times, try to practice gratitude, remember it's God’s plan, and maybe then we can radiate love within ourselves and to those who need it most.
Happy Thanksgiving! I want to encourage everyone to take a moment during this break to really reflect on your life, and appreciate the blessings around you. I'm beyond grateful for every person who takes the time out to read even just a single post. I recently lost a friend, who was always extremely supportive of my blog, writing and how far I've come on this journey. He was a good friend and overall commendable human being. If you guys could keep him and his family in your prayers, that would mean a lot. Thank you.
love, Sof
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