We’ve heard it time and time again. “Change is good.” The benefits you reap from switching it up once in a while are astronomical to your being. It’s good to break routine every now and again. Any experience that forces you to step out of your comfort zone is said to make you “stronger”. Changes to your appearance are equally as colossal if not, more. When we think about starting fresh, hair is a common thread we turn to in an effort to symbolize change.
My hair has always been my safety blanket, and I’m sure this thought may be familiar to some of you. I truly used to think it was my only defining attractive quality. So when I had the sudden urge to chop it off, the decision wasn’t exactly met with contentment…
The initial inspiration came to me after I watched Bride Wars with my sister for the 50th time (a little light-hearted rom-com, 10/10 recommend). Throughout the movie, Anne Hathaway wears her hair medium length. I think her personality was very similar to mine in which she’s portrayed as a by-the-book people-pleaser. She returns from her honeymoon (towards the end of the movie) with a cute, feathery cut right above her shoulders (pictured below). I honestly can’t tell you why I obsessed over this look,
but there was something moving about how brand new and refreshed she looked and felt after going through everything she went through during the course of the movie. The premise of the story is how she finally defends herself and follows her heart instead of listening to what other people had been ordering her to do her whole life. Her character’s story ends with a newfound rejuvenation and seems mentally stronger overall. Her new hair was symbolic of this and the new chapter in her life she was beginning. She effortlessly pulled it off and whether I would or not, I wanted to feel the same way she felt in this closing scene. Bold. Lively. Free.
You see, my whole life, I’ve always tried to do everything by the book. I’m not very rebellious, and I HATE trying new things. I detest change- it actually makes me sick to my stomach. I’m anything but spontaneous and “risk-taker” isn’t the word people would typically use to describe me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly boring- I just like to stay out of trouble. Getting this haircut was kind of the opposite of everything I am. I mean… my decision to chop it came to a surprise to a lot of my closest friends and family- and the fact that I did it was even more of a shocker. I think that’s what motivated me to actually go for it- I wanted rid myself of predictability.
I had contemplated it for a while and finally something in me snapped. I woke up one morning, made my appointment and headed to my usual hair stylist. My hair was well below my chest and I asked my stylist to cut it just above my shoulder. BOLD, I know. The first day went smooth, I actually really liked the cut. I received positive feedback from everyone and I really felt like I had made the right decision. The next day I had to properly get ready because I had plans to go out that night. This was… a bit of a struggle. I thought I’d feel even better after I did my makeup and put on a cute outfit but insecurity got the best of me and self-doubt crept up. I started doubting the way I looked and kept thinking in the back of my mind that I’d look way better if I still had long hair. But then the next morning I woke up and I felt okay with it again. I didn’t understand my confusion. And TBH I still don’t understand my confusion. It’s been a constant back and forth since then. I’m getting used to it more and more as time passes by, but there are moments where I’m still shocked my hair is so short and question whether I can even pull it off. As I slowly accept that this is my hair now, I’m coming up with more and more ways to style it. I think this has been really instrumental in me growing more and more fond of such a different style. Once you accept something, you’re able to enjoy it wholeheartedly. Without any conviction.
This hair cut is much more than a hair cut. Some of you may think “it’s not that serious,” but for me, and where I’m at in life, it is. First, I made a bold and impulsive decision. Something I would’ve never done a year ago. Second, I stepped out of my comfort zone to change something I consider my security. The only way you can eliminate fear is to stop letting something (or even someone) be your form of security. In my case, it was the fear that I only looked and felt good because of my hair. Despite my on again/off again insecurities, I’m still able to feel confident with short hair and this is my third point. I had insecurities even when I had long hair. Of course they took a different shape/form, but they still existed. When I really think about it, going short didn’t take away from my confidence, it added to it.
So yes, I agree with everyone. Change is good. Stepping out of your comfort zone does make you a stronger person. I’ve gone through major life changes these past few years, and the person I am because of it is someone I always aspired to be. I just didn’t think I was capable of it. This hair cut is symbolic of a new perspective and a new wave. A reminder of who I want to be, who I want around me and what I want my life to look and feel like. Just how Anne Hathaway’s character, Emma, felt at the end.
Bold. Lively. Free.
-love Sof
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